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This is what my husband said to me twenty years after the birth of our first daughter:

 

“My greatest regret is sitting in a room totally unable to feel in any sort of control, unable to support you because I didn’t know what was happening.  Watching anaethetists and midwives running about hooking you up to machines, sticking needles in you with charts and machines going crazy.  I felt completely and utterly lost.  If I had just had someone there explaining what was happening I would have been stronger for you.  How could I help you when I felt pushed away and totally bewildered?  How could I hold your hand and say “its all OK” when even the nurses (midwives) looked worried.  If I knew then what I know now I would have hired a doula”

 

 

 

I never realized how much it affected him

and then I made him go through it again a few years later!

 

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